And you probably won’t be but still. It’s just a simple wedding rant (and, if you don’t read it all, skip down to the bottom and help a poor, head-achy girl out, eh?):
I’m a no fanfare kinda chick. I like things simple. I don’t like people making a fuss over me or and I don’t like making a fuss over other people. I don’t giggle, clap my hands, and jump up and down in excitement when people tell me good news about weddings and babies. I just don’t.
So why is it that other people’s weddings turn fairly normal people into maniacal twits? People that you haven’t had contact with for so long come out of the woodwork, thinking they have the right to ask you to divulge every minute detail about the wedding beforehand. (I’m having a covert wedding, people. It’s all on a need-to-know basis.) They also feel they have the right to give you advice about how to do things (that you aren’t planning to do anyway) and ask you to do things their way instead of the way you had planned.
Neal and I are simple people. Neither of us want a big deal made out of this. That’s why there are 23 people coming, 24 if you count my best friend who is the officiate, and 26 if you count me and Neal. Small, get it? We aren’t having the wedding to show off or have a huge party. We’re having a wedding to include some close friends and family in the day we make our covenant with each other and with God. We’re having a wedding to have witnesses to the second-biggest vow we’ve ever made in our lives. We’re having the ceremony to say what we feel about each other.
We’re not having a traditional wedding and this is stunning some people. We’re having the small ceremony, in which we are re-creating the vows, the ring exchange to suit us. My best friend isn’t doing the “this golden band is a circle and represents eternity” sermon. She’s making one for us, that encompasses who we are as a couple, as unique to us as this ceremony is to us. (Let me thank you again, Misty, for agreeing to do this. Let me also tell everyone how amazed I am at the writing abilities of this friend…when she decides to do so. *winks* Thanks, babe, for helping make this unique for us.)
We aren’t having a traditional reception. Cake, punch, and time with friends. That’s all.
We’re not having a traditional night before: We’ve decided that since the bride and groom can’t see each other the night before the wedding, after we leave each other, we’re forgoing opposite-sex contact to enjoy our time with “just the guys” or “just the girls”.
We’re not having a traditional rehearsal dinner. Our parents haven’t met so we’re doing a couple and parents dinner where we can all talk and get to know each other, private, simple, intimate. Who can talk and get to know each other with fifteen others yakking and interrupting?
Is it too much to ask to keep things simple? To ask people to just accept our plans and go with it? I don’t want fanfare and trumpets. I don’t need it. All I want is one thing: For the people we love to be present when we commit our lives to each other, with God’s help.
We want this to be unique to us, rare in its honesty about who we are together. This isn’t about other people. The wedding isn’t about one-upping. It isn’t about making people mad or happy. It isn’t what you want it to be. Of course not! It’s about Neal and Jessica. Who we are individually and who we will be together as our one unit.
I’m almost hoping this gets a story-type response. The people I’ve been talking to have horror story upon horror story about their weddings. My knitting teacher’s mom took over her entire wedding. The bride didn’t even wear a dress she liked. She looks back at the pictures and remembers the bad things, the things she hated, the dress her mom picked out and foisted upon her, the reception where things got out of hand, the decorations she didn’t like or want.
If you’re married, did you have the wedding you wanted? If so, did it cause a stir amongst your family? An uproar or ruckus because you didn’t do things the way someone else wanted? Did anyone end up having things they didn’t like to appease someone else? For those unmarried ones, do you have any horror stories of weddings you’ve been in or ones you’ve been to? Did someone’s aunt storm out of the church because her grandson wasn’t the ringbearer? Did your grandma refuse to come because you weren’t having cherry punch at the reception?
Please help me out and give me a few laughs, if you could. I’m really needing them tonight. *sighs and shakes head* Really.
What have OTHERS said in response?