Comments on: When the road is long… http://takeflightwithinconsideratewings.wordpress.com/2006/10/02/when-the-road-is-long/ Against all odds... Tue, 22 Dec 2009 22:39:44 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: jess http://takeflightwithinconsideratewings.wordpress.com/2006/10/02/when-the-road-is-long/comment-page-1/#comment-716 jess Tue, 07 Nov 2006 04:40:28 +0000 http://takeflightwithinconsideratewings.wordpress.com/2006/10/02/when-the-road-is-long/#comment-716 Thanks, Terri! It is definitely hard to say these things to your friends when it's needed the absolute most. And, even if you do say them? What's to say that they will understand, will listen, or will take what you have to say to heart? All we can do is try and let them know that lack of contact can be extremely painful, especially when we need them the most. Long-term friendships can be very easy to ignore, just as you said. For that reason, they are all the more critical to actually pay attention to...and to show your love and attention to. When you said, "we know that they'll be around for the long haul"? It just reminded me of instances where I've wanted to rekindle a long-term friendship only to find that things had changed too much--we were too different to pick up where we left off. Sometimes growing <em>together</em> can be more beneficial than just assuming that both of you can just start from where you left off. I met the friend I'm thinking of for supper one day and...realized that I couldn't resume a friendship after so long without meaningful contact. I was disappointed and upset, sad that things couldn't continue--or even restart from scratch. Too much time had past and too many things had happened to grow us both in opposite directions. Thanks, Terri! It is definitely hard to say these things to your friends when it’s needed the absolute most. And, even if you do say them? What’s to say that they will understand, will listen, or will take what you have to say to heart? All we can do is try and let them know that lack of contact can be extremely painful, especially when we need them the most.
Long-term friendships can be very easy to ignore, just as you said. For that reason, they are all the more critical to actually pay attention to…and to show your love and attention to.
When you said, “we know that they’ll be around for the long haul”? It just reminded me of instances where I’ve wanted to rekindle a long-term friendship only to find that things had changed too much–we were too different to pick up where we left off. Sometimes growing together can be more beneficial than just assuming that both of you can just start from where you left off. I met the friend I’m thinking of for supper one day and…realized that I couldn’t resume a friendship after so long without meaningful contact. I was disappointed and upset, sad that things couldn’t continue–or even restart from scratch. Too much time had past and too many things had happened to grow us both in opposite directions.

]]> By: Terri http://takeflightwithinconsideratewings.wordpress.com/2006/10/02/when-the-road-is-long/comment-page-1/#comment-715 Terri Tue, 07 Nov 2006 03:42:45 +0000 http://takeflightwithinconsideratewings.wordpress.com/2006/10/02/when-the-road-is-long/#comment-715 Hi, I found this through Mir's site. I absolutely loved this post -- it is so true. I've been working through some "issues" with a long-time friend and this is what I've wanted to say to her. And your comment above -- even more so. I think that we tend to neglect the long-term friends because we know that they'll be around for the long haul, and it somehow seems more critical to nurture newer friendships, like they're more fragile for some reason. You nailed it right on the head. Hi, I found this through Mir’s site. I absolutely loved this post — it is so true. I’ve been working through some “issues” with a long-time friend and this is what I’ve wanted to say to her. And your comment above — even more so. I think that we tend to neglect the long-term friends because we know that they’ll be around for the long haul, and it somehow seems more critical to nurture newer friendships, like they’re more fragile for some reason. You nailed it right on the head.

]]> By: jess http://takeflightwithinconsideratewings.wordpress.com/2006/10/02/when-the-road-is-long/comment-page-1/#comment-665 jess Mon, 16 Oct 2006 02:49:28 +0000 http://takeflightwithinconsideratewings.wordpress.com/2006/10/02/when-the-road-is-long/#comment-665 Thanks for getting back to me. I was actually quite worried about you after reading your last post and then not seeing anything for quite a while! It definitely has been interesting, seeing who is willing to make an extra effort to show that they care for you enough to the point of taking time out of their busy schedules to keep in touch. Two of my closest friends are extremely busy and I know this; however, we are making it a point to keep up with each other and ensure that we are growing as friends and maintaining something that has taken years to build. Thanks for mentioning that, as it brings a point closer to my own heart of knowing that people either care enough to give of themselves or they don't. I really, really identify with the last line of your comment and it has opened my eyes wider to what is going on in relationships around me as well. It's not always easy...but if it's worth it, you'll do it. I often say that one makes time for what is important. I had a friend say that he just forgot to keep up with me or was busy or whatever but I had evidence to the contrary within his relationships with other people who weren't even his close friends, that he was making time for them, etc. I said, "The evidence is in your actions: You make time for what is important to you and for who is important to you." We need to hear the truth in friendship more than anything. Since that time, our friendship has grown and become something awesome and wonderful: We both made time for what was important to us--each other. Thanks for getting back to me. I was actually quite worried about you after reading your last post and then not seeing anything for quite a while!

It definitely has been interesting, seeing who is willing to make an extra effort to show that they care for you enough to the point of taking time out of their busy schedules to keep in touch. Two of my closest friends are extremely busy and I know this; however, we are making it a point to keep up with each other and ensure that we are growing as friends and maintaining something that has taken years to build. Thanks for mentioning that, as it brings a point closer to my own heart of knowing that people either care enough to give of themselves or they don’t. I really, really identify with the last line of your comment and it has opened my eyes wider to what is going on in relationships around me as well. It’s not always easy…but if it’s worth it, you’ll do it.

I often say that one makes time for what is important. I had a friend say that he just forgot to keep up with me or was busy or whatever but I had evidence to the contrary within his relationships with other people who weren’t even his close friends, that he was making time for them, etc. I said, “The evidence is in your actions: You make time for what is important to you and for who is important to you.” We need to hear the truth in friendship more than anything. Since that time, our friendship has grown and become something awesome and wonderful: We both made time for what was important to us–each other.

]]> By: Another J Girl http://takeflightwithinconsideratewings.wordpress.com/2006/10/02/when-the-road-is-long/comment-page-1/#comment-661 Another J Girl Sat, 14 Oct 2006 21:41:10 +0000 http://takeflightwithinconsideratewings.wordpress.com/2006/10/02/when-the-road-is-long/#comment-661 Hi Jess, I just wanted to drop by and say thank you for your encouraging comment, I'm not sure when you left it because I haven't checked my own blog in awhile, though I always check yours =) I have been reading you for awhile and I think you are an incredibly insightful person...Thanks again for the encouragement, it's weird but even though you are basically a stranger to me it means a lot to know that you feel I can do this. Oh, and I definitely agree with you on how relationships take work...this becomes especially true as we get older and our friends who we grew up down the street from start to become scattered all over the country. But in a way it's nice to find out who will devote that energy to keeping up with your life even when it's not easy. Hi Jess, I just wanted to drop by and say thank you for your encouraging comment, I’m not sure when you left it because I haven’t checked my own blog in awhile, though I always check yours =) I have been reading you for awhile and I think you are an incredibly insightful person…Thanks again for the encouragement, it’s weird but even though you are basically a stranger to me it means a lot to know that you feel I can do this.

Oh, and I definitely agree with you on how relationships take work…this becomes especially true as we get older and our friends who we grew up down the street from start to become scattered all over the country. But in a way it’s nice to find out who will devote that energy to keeping up with your life even when it’s not easy.

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