No, thank you.

I have a pet peeve. Okay, I have lots, but one in particular is on my mind right now. We have a family member — let’s call him Family Member Z — who seems to have a gratitude problem. Every year, whether we are at the family gathering or not, we give Z a Christmas present that we have painstakingly picked out. (Yes, I really mean “painstakingly,” too. Z is the most difficult person to find a present for that I have ever met.) We wrap it lovingly (as you know from how much effort I put into wrapping gifts for everyone) and take care with making sure he has something to open from us on that special day. We usually do pretty good for getting gifts, too, which amazes me every single year, because I am just never quite sure whatever we get is something he’ll use.

Every single year, we never receive so much as a “thank you,” whether we are there in person or not. This year, it’s already March and as far as we know, he never even opened it. (Okay, I lied. We know he opened it because others were there and saw him using the present immediately, but we haven’t heard anything from him.) Normally when we are there in person, he throws a gift card he got the day before at us on Christmas, but this year we haven’t even heard “thank you for your thoughtful gift” or “go bite me” or, well, anything at all in return.

I’ve decided that I’m done searching for Z’s gift. As Miss Manners says, “If they don’t say ‘thank you,’ then they probably didn’t want a gift. You should problem not burden them with one again.” Sure, I’ll throw a gift card at him when next we see him, but I’m not taking any time with getting him anything else again. He apparently doesn’t need or want the gifts we have been giving, so I’m done taking all that time to search and find something nice for him to disregard.